Let him go


Attachment is a funny thing. The mind wraps around the heart, constricting the breath, bringing the spirit up and out of the body. Rather than being grounded deeply on this plane, we wander upwards and out of connection with mother earth.

It’s easy to forget we are worthy and valued and enough, just as we are. It is difficult to find the strength to create the discipline to just be.

Is it all a dance between extremes until we find equilibrium?

Is it detachment and determination to develop better habits?

When I ground, I feel so much more. I am to be viewing these and my thoughts like ships passing on a lake. Somehow. Yet it is what is asked of me. Somewhere “out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field I will meet you there” (Rumi).

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Season’s Change

I am exhausted. Beyond tired. Just, pooped.

And I’ve been in my head the last few days. Correlation? Definitely.

It is so important for health, wellness and ease to ground deeply into our bodies, truths and intuitions. Not be off wandering around over analyzing, not listening to our very talkative, wonderful vessels.

Prescription for myself? Essential oils, rest, water, healthy eats and drinks.

Acupuncture

I know, I know, there are a thousand different ways to heal. There’s meditation, there’s reiki, there’s shamanic drum circles. It all works. It all brings about awareness and consciousness is the goal. And every day I move towards it, I am outrageously thankful. Tears come to my eyes as I think of the spiritual path of healing myself to help heal others I have undergone since I began. And authenticity, a new confidence, a new presence and a new openness have emerged from opening to the energy of reiki. BUT TONIGHT I found something I wasn’t expecting. After numerous recommendations I finally tried Acupuncture. And it was like letting poisonous gas out of an overstuffed balloon. Finally, what felt like a year’s worth of tension, resentment and unease, released from my body.

I sat down in the chair after the initial pulse check, interview and tongue examination, full of nerves. The fool, I wondered at first what I was supposed to do. Stephanie (the woman helping me) replied Rest and focus on deeply breathing. Exactly what I would tell my clients too. I laughed at myself. Of course. And immediately sighed because of the new awareness that I hadn’t been resting enough, even though I know better. It’s a practice.

And then the woman helping me Stephanie, began sticking needles in me. Starting with my third eye! and moving down my body, where things were painful and where they were easy. But over the course of an hour I felt myself open up and heal in a meditative, deep breathing state that allowed my whole body a feeling of relaxation I haven’t felt in about a year. Images of people who had wronged me appeared in my mind’s eye as I was called one by one to forgive them. And most of all myself. Tears came and released while, a gentle, but pressing pain from the needles arose when I found myself clinging to a thought or attaching to an emotion. And as I released as much as I could through each one, the pent up energy in my muscles finally relaxed. I breathed deeply and could feel my body at ease.

I could not be more thankful for such a beautiful healing practice. I was really afraid to go into that room today, but that just goes to show me that the cave you fear to enter really does hold the treasure you seek. I am so thankful I am able to release this stress and hope others find this mode of healing useful.

Happy healing everyone!

INTRODUCTIONS

Hello, my name is Autumn and I am a Reiki Healer in her twenties (yes, a millennial), administering healing at the master level, in the busiest, most jaded metropolis in the whole world: New York City. It can be a lot sometimes: Isolating, confusing, fraught with self doubt. I am learning to worry less about what people think of me, but I am not immune. This blog is for the hilarity and irony that ensues while I lead the life of a healer in sin city.

Judgmental? Perhaps. But I am human too and don’t always abstain from all the earthly pleasures of this glorious, multifaceted place. We contain multitudes. We contain hypocrisy and authenticity and lies and absolute truth. It is the navigation through my desires as a human and the call of my highest good of my divinity that makes this city interesting. I’d like to share that negotiation.

Why? I wake up some days, profoundly aware and afraid that I won’t be able to share my experiences as a healer with the majority of my friends and acquaintances. Let’s face it, when you hear that a person (no matter how nice or sane seeming they appear to be) listens to your ancestral and spirit guides, talks to angels, animals and plant entities on a daily basis and can get an accurate read on the balance of your chakras–well, you know. You question them. Because in this world, the ancient and the sacred practices of shamans and healers have been tossed out of acceptable thinking. They are replaced by snide memes about “new age girls” and sarcastic comments about beaming light from hands with a “bvvv” sound. Oh, also, the demands of modern medicine which have brainwashed entire generations to believe they need antibiotics and painkillers to function probably have something to do with it but–Don’t worry, I’ll go more in depth in later blog posts. If you’d like to avoid that rant, it’s definitely possible. The point is, it has been difficult to share my story when the world seems so cynical and unsupportive of it.

But I aim to be brave, authentic and conscious in all my interactions. There are many of us who go unheard and who don’t feel like sharing. But I think it’s time for me to speak out and own my truth. And so here I am, confessing to the internet about my struggle of being seen as a healer here. We’ve all got challenges. We’ve all got a story. My hope is that this one will be a relatable, funny, poignant, conscious and truthful one. I hope you enjoy it. And thank you for stopping by. It truly means the world to me.

Kindly,

Autumn